Piranha 3D

Generally movie remakes have a bad name despite Hollywood’s insistence on making them. However in my experience there are a few that while not always improving on the original, at least do a good enough job to be worth seeing, without insulting the memory of a classic. Find below a few I personally have enjoyed.

Little Shop Of Horrors

Although not familiar with the Roger Corman original, this Steve Martin, Rick Moranis, John Candy starring musical is a riot … very memorable tunes and great practical effects. I really need to watch this again… soon!

Evil Dead

Was really expecting this to just not get what made the original so good – but it ramped up the gore and violence to epic proportions, had a great cast and was scary … maybe not as tongue-in-cheek as the series is famous for, but still felt like an Evil Dead movie.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Am I alone in thinking this version rocks? Tons of gore (which the original lacked, even though I know that wasn’t the entire point) a perfectly mad performance by R. Lee Ermey and a twenty something bunch of ‘victims’ you don’t immediately hate.

Miracle On 34th Street

Charming with a great performance by Richard Attenborough. A star making turn by the where is she now Mara Wilson (see also Mathilda). Haven’t seen original but this was a perfect Christmas treat.

Heat

Am I cheating by including this? A deserved genre classic with a (possible) career best from both Pacino and DeNiro, and yes it’s a remake of TV movie L.A. Takedown.

The Assassin (aka Point of No Return)

Perhaps sacrilege to remake Luc Besson’s La Femme Nikita, and another I think I’m alone in loving. I had a major crush on Bridget Fonda in this… but its a competent thriller with several decent performances, including a cameo by Harvey Keitel that’s worth seeing!

Piranha 3D

Breasts and naked skinny-dipping porn stars aside, this has gore by the bucket and a fast energetic pace that makes for one of the most fun horror movies in a long while. Director Alexandre Aja cements his reputation as the go to guy for horror remakes! (see also: The Hills Have Eyes).

Scarface

Easy one this. Not seen the original but with a powerhouse performance by Al Pacino and that line ‘say hello to my little fiend’ this took a basic blue print and seriously went to town with it!

The Thing

This shouldn’t have worked, but with a strong lead by the mouth-watering Mary Elizabeth Winstead and half decent and freaky CGI, as well as all the atmosphere the original had (ok this is technically a prequel…but it still counts…I think), this really surprised me.

I am starting to think that although they get the worst press, horror remakes have got it right a fair few times going by the list above. That’s just my opinion though and you may differ. So what would your choices be?

Viewed – 14 January 2011 Blu-ray

This is one of those movies that has a certain kind of audience in mind. Guys and fanatics of low-budget trashy horror who grew up on the likes of The Evil Dead and Re-Animator. Those movies understood the basics of any good horror. You need tits, and you need gore – lots of it. Therefore I knew exactly what to expect when sitting down to watch this remake of the Joe Dante (sort of) classic.

Elizabeth Shue is a Sheriff living in a local lake-side community, who stumbles upon an outbreak of Piranhas, unearthed following an earth quake under the sea. It also happens to be spring break, the time where hormonal, sex-crazed teenagers converge on the beach for plenty of sun, sea and wet t-shirt competitions. So naturally for the Piranhas this is an all you can eat buffet, and it’s up to the Sheriff, her son and Kelly Brooke in a bikini to save the day – kind of.

Director Alexandre Aja has made a bit of a name for himself following the break-out slasher classic High Tension (aka Switchblade Romance) and then following it up with the actually rather brilliant The Hills Have Eyes remake. Now delving into his love of 80s horror if Tension could be seen as his tribute to 70s horror, this delivers on its principal promise. There’s plenty of nudity, and most importantly blood & gore – with some money shots really knocking me off my seat. All I’ll say is a boat propeller and a girl’s hair are not a good combination! Sadly the same can’t be said for the acting or the casting, with cranky dialogue and characters so wafer thin they’re almost cartoon-like. And what Christopher Lloyd is doing here is anyone’s guess.

But for fans, this is a joy. Aja cements his reputation as the gore king and at a zippy 85 minutes, its fast, fun and entertaining. Nods to Jaws (such as Richard Dreyfuss’ cameo) only remind the viewer of how gripping and intelligent this could have been, but beyond that this does tick all the boxes for what a Piranha movie needs, and I really enjoyed it.

3D doesn’t interest me at all, so I watched the 2D version.

Verdict: 3.5 /5