Pet Sematary


Viewed – 10 April 2019. Cinema

I went into this with expectations dialled down mostly because I don’t consider the 1989 adaptation of Stephen King’s novel all that great. However, a remake is a chance to improve upon a concept so there’s every reason to hope this one fairs better. A doctor (Jason Clarke) and his family move to a rural town and soon befriend the kind old man across the road (John Lithgow) who eventually introduced them to the Pet Cemetery in the woods, located on the family’s land. However following an unfortunate incident involving the pet cat and a lorry, the old neighbour suggests burying the animal beyond the pet cemetery. So of course, the cat comes back and sets in motion a spiral of increasingly macabre events.

Pet Sematary

The movie quickly resorts to cliches like ‘we should never have moved here’ way before that sort of thinking seems reasonable. Also, John Lithgow surprisingly fails to have the screen presence of the originals Fred Gwyn with delivery for such iconic lines as ‘the soil of a man’s heart…’ and ‘sometimes dead is better’ coming off rather half-arsed. However Jason Clarke is decent aided by a memorable turn from Jeta Laurence as his daughter. Flashbacks to the wife’s memories of twisted-spine sister ‘Zelda’ is also cranked up in the freakiness and jump-scares department and really, turns out to be the movie’s most disturbing aspect. Also changes to the final act help explain-away some of the more ludicrous developments of the original, but also come off as even sillier somehow.

So this remake wasn’t terrible and at times genuinely scary, but like the original … I can’t help but feel that the concept is overall flawed.

Verdict: 3 /5

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The Highwaymen


Viewed – 02 April 2019. Netflix

You’d think a movie based on a notorious true story and starring Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson, would be a sure bet. However this thriller told from the perspective of two former Texas Rangers, pulled out of retirement to put a stop to Bonnie & Clyde was surprisingly ‘meh’.

Costner & Harrelson make for an good pairing however, and their banter and slightly bumbling approach to an off-the-books investigation proves the main enjoyment of the film. You see, despite an atmospheric setting and authentic sense of time and place, the movie really plods along, barely even showing the legendary bank robbers, especially ‘in the act’ and by focusing more on these has-been lawmen the movie fails to be as riveting as the subject might suggest. It’s also one of those very vague movies when it comes to various clues and important details leading to finally locating Bonnie & Clyde – which proves rather frustrating. In addition, the real-life fame and hysteria that surrounded the murderous criminals is only slightly touched upon.

There’s entertainment to be had here, but overall this was a missed opportunity.  Another so-called Netflix original that underwhelms … I’m sensing a pattern.

Verdict: 2.5 /5

Captain Marvel


Viewed – .26 March 2019

Some people would have you believe that this isn’t another blockbuster entry in the ever popular Marvel Cinematic Universe and a precursor to the much anticipated Avengers: Endgame … but instead some overly political, misguided feminist propaganda effort. Thankfully i’m here to tell you, this isn’t that movie – unless you want it to be.

Brie Larson plays Veers, a gutsy soldier under the mentor-ship of Jude Law who along with a squad of Inter-galactic warriors are out to stop a race of warlords from tracking down a scientist on earth who may have invented a light speed transportation device. However once on earth, Veers finds herself plagued by memories of a past she doesn’t recognise.

Larson is likeable, tough, perfectly cast and I guess, makes for great female role model material (whilst not bashing you over the head with the fact). Add to this her teaming with a (incredibly) CGI-rejuvenated Samuel L Jackson for a fun buddy pairing; this has action, a twisting story line that kept me glued and a fun 90’s backdrop with many enjoyable in-jokes and references. The plot at its core is rather cliched I’ll admit and despite a few unexpected moments, nothing all that memorable, yet ties in well with other movies. A few moments here and there felt slightly rushed also. However, effects work is top notch as usual and although big action set-pieces are spread a little thin, the use of some great 90’s tunes from bands such as Nirvana, No Doubt and Garbage enhance several scenes, making for a fun experience from start to a particularly feel-good finish.

So leave all that political bullshit at the door and if you’re anything like me, you’ll have a great time. Roll on Endgame.

Verdict: 3.5 /5

Velvet Buzzsaw


Viewed – 26 February 2019  Netflix

I think it can be agreed now that Netflix has become a force to be retconned with and now attracts Hollywood A-list talent to front it’s growing catalogue of original content.  So we come to this rather strange horror thriller starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Rene Russo and Toni Collette.  Gyllenhaal plays an art critic who works with various art galleries to put on exhibits.  However he is craving the latest big thing and after a mysterious elderly man dies, an undiscovered collection of weird paintings falls into his lap.  However something is very wrong with these paintings, and the gallery owners, employees and critics are about to discover exactly what.

UNTITLED DAN GILROY FILM

This was a strange one.  Firstly Gyllenhaal is probably my favourite actor, and here he’s playing a rather camp, self-absorbed bi-sexual character who at times comes off like two separate people (when he’s in critic mode, he’s effeminate and flamboyant, otherwise he’s quite serious and masculine). However like many of Gyllenhaal’s characters – he makes it work.  Russo is the rather bitchy gallery owner and not exactly a stretch from the last movie I saw her in, Nightcrawler, of which this is the same director.  Collette is nothing special and an appearance from John Malcovich is forgettable also.  Zawe Ashton as an ambitious gallery employee however, is just awful with robot-like line delivery making me think she was doped up on medication.  However the core idea of cursed artwork and the mystery of the deceased painter is intriguing, just a shame it goes nowhere in favour of a series of (admittedly imaginative) deaths. 

It may feel a bit lightweight and suffers from a TV movie-vibe but with quirky performances and a strong central idea I did have fun with this … but it’s far from essential viewing.  That title has little reference to the movie either. 

Verdict:  3 /5

The Equalizer 2


Viewed – 19 February 2019. online rental

I can’t help but see this sequel and the last movie as Denzel Washington’s answer to Liam Neeson’s Taken, and less as an update of a cult 80’s TV show of the same name. Here Denzel returns as ex-marine-turned-vigilante Robert McCall, who is again on the look out for the next hard luck case and an excuse to crack some skulls. However after a double murder in Belgium attracts the interest of a CIA friend, it’s soon a race to find out what went on whilst the bad guys attempt to cover things up.

Equalizer 2

The movie’s story however largely prefers to focus on said cover up more than giving some compelling answers. This hampers enjoyment which is a shame as Denzel busting bad guy ass never gets old even if his penchant for violence seems over the top at times. Antione Fuqua‘s direction is still slick as is often the case with this guy (he made Training Day). Yet with a cliched villain I guessed early on and a glaring moment of bad guy stupidity towards the end, this sequel was overall only so so.

If you enjoyed the first movie, this has moments of entertainment and has a rather interesting subplot regarding a neighbourhood kid … but that’s not enough to make this a must-see.

Verdict: 2 /5