The Three Musketeers


Viewed – 31 May 2012  Blu-ray

The question that immediately springs to mind here is, do we really need another telling of the age-old Musketeers story?  Brought to the screen countless times with varying success, this is familiar and well trodden ground, and one may wonder just what a new adaptation can bring that we haven’t seen before.  Easy answer – lots and lots and lots of CGI.

Directed by the often underrated Paul W.S. Anderson (Resident Evil, Event Horizon) this starts well with a welcome swashbuckling introduction to Porthos (Ray Stevensen), Aramis (Luke Evans) and Athos (Matthew Macfadyen), who are double crossed by Aramis’ love interest Milady (Paul W.S. Anderon regular Mila Jovovich) resulting in the three heroes falling from grace.  Yet when a plot is uncovered to bring about war, the Musketeers team up with an ambitious but reckless young man called D’Artagnon (Logan Lerman).

Now you may have noticed the lack of star names amongst the cast there, and you wouldn’t be wrong.  Thankfully we have Christoph Waltz (Inglorious Basterdz) on hand to offer villainous duties as the cunning Cardinal Richelieu and a very camp Orlando Bloom as the Duke Of Buckingham, preventing the whole thing from descending into Z-List territory.  Sadly though, the feel here is more Monty Python than true blockbuster cinema, and despite some stylish cinematography, great set-design and well shot action – I failed to engage with the often plot-hole laden story or personality-free characters.  The less said about the cameo by Brit comedienne James Cordon and the talentless actress (is pouting a talent?) playing D’Artagnon’s love interest … the better.

As it stands, this was still fun and had some pretty cool sequences (who can’t enjoy two flying boats battling it out??) but lacked anything beyond its garish visual-overload to make me recommend it.  The forgettable Take That end-credits song says it all.  One for fans of the Musketeers only.

Verdict:  2 /5

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